I Googled 'Narcotecture' So You Don't Have To

Yes, that’d be the house that rocks built.  Look close. Since first coming across that delightful term ‘narcotecture’, I’ve had an eye out for examples of how drug lords are playing Extreme Makeover: Home Edition in their fiefdoms.  Here’s some clicky things with minimal commentary: –P.J. Tobia’s photos from Kabul.  Highlights: a ‘For Rent’ sign on one (‘Roommate wanted. Must like cooking base and Wii Tennis tournaments.’) and what appears to be the headquarters of the Green Lantern Corps. -RE: Columbia’s white powdery boom years: The business brought fast and easy money to a hungry society and the money brought power. Those who had it flaunted it and a whole new aesthetic bulldozed its way into Medellin, spreading out across the world. El-Cartel investigates this aesthetic and defines ‘Narcotecture’. Plus a blurry MPEG of some nightlit narco-ruins.  Warning: site comes complete with a barking dog on the main page for […]

Jimmy Stewart, Tom Slick, and a Yeti Hand

In the late 1950’s Texan oil  tycoon Tom Slick launched an expedition to Nepal. He searched of a rumored hand of yeti hand, now called the Pangbouche Hand, allegedly used as part of a ritual in the Himalayas. That area is home to many legends such as “The Abominable Snowman” with white fur and its redheaded stepchild Almas. He located the hand at a Buddhist monastery in Pangboche. Subsequent treks brought photos of the hand and ultimately the hand itself. The monks declined these fast talking city slickers in coats request to have the hand removed for study. Slick’s associate Peter Byrne cracked a plan: replace the hand with human remains and smuggle it out of Nepal. Then what? That’s where Byrne and Slick’s hunting buddy/flying pal and all around American good-guy actor Jimmy Stewart comes in. Yes, It’s a Wonderful Life, Harvey and Rear Window Jimmy Stewart. Stewart rushed […]

Robot Whales Will Save Us, I Assure You

More linking strands in the swirling digital chum of the intertube, gentle reader. First off, here’s an oldie but goodie (from way back in in 2008) from Vice: Whereupon they tag along with a mission to catalog what’s floating around in the vast plastic morass in the middle of the Pacific.  In case you’re unfamiliar, the Wikigods say: The Great Pacific Garbage Patch, also described as the Eastern Garbage Patch or the Pacific Trash Vortex, is a gyre of marine litter in the central North Pacific Ocean located roughly between 135° to 155°W and 35° to 42°N and estimated to be twice the size of Texas.[1] The patch is characterized by exceptionally high concentrations of suspended plastic and other debris that have been trapped by the currents of the North Pacific Gyre. Mix that with a report on Pink Tentacle about floating robot UAVs deployed in the gross urban waterways […]

Huh? Viral campaign for Japanese biotech company

First go to which looks like Google. Type “alfa tsentr” and you see some Russian characters that translates to “she is the beginning” (ona nachalo). Clicking around gets you to “The Junsui Project” which features Junko, the child of all man-kind. I know some Russian and Japanese but I have no idea what I’m supposed to buy.

Mad Palin: A Sarah Palin Speech Generator

Ever wonder how you could write an eloquent speech as eloquent as former Alaska governor Sarah Palin? Well now you can. At least the first couple paragraphs. It’s a bit long and rambling, but then again so is her 2,500 word speech. Share you results below. Fill in your own nouns, adjectives, verbs, and adverbs after the jump.

Goldman Sachs: Not Just Evil, Also Maybe a Decepticon

OK.  So it’s been pretty well established that Goldman Sachs can generally do whatever the hell it wants.  Seeding the upper echelons of government and financial market regulators with former employees raised with cult-like loyalty and mushing enough business models together to create a massive, largely unfuckwithable, finance hydra generally adds up to a blank check underwritten by reality as we know it.  Smarter men than I will tell you all about it. H+ goes the next step and suggests that deep inside Goldmans belly (or would that be in its Sachs?) rumbles a secret prototype for the machine intelligence that will one day muscle all us puny humans into the sewage drain of history. Y’know, the one that runs along the road of competition.  As we ride our ponies of ignorance.   Wearing trucker hats of inauspiciousness. I love metaphors. Anyway, the gist is that the pattern of just-in-time […]

Disney on Mars

Disney cartoon from 1957 shortly after Sputnik orbited Earth. The cartoon speculates on life on Mars. You know, before NASA messed everything up and made Mars boring and full of useless rocks. I remember seeing this as a child, well after Mars was established boring and free from horny Mars princesses.

Demand Celebrity Death Panel Choice, Patriot!

Remember when the thick rich soup of internet infotainment was touted as the food of a new race of superintelligent uber-citizens who would zoom from source to source with a keen eye for the facts? Yeah.  The future has always been full of shit. So instead we get Sarah Palin’s pearls of wisdom drooled out via Facebook, raising the specter of government death panels chomping at the bit to liquidate her Down syndrome baby’. As an aside, whenever challenged about anything, from now on, I’m going to reply ‘You want to kill my baby with Down syndrome.’  Bulletproof. In this brave new post-facts reality, I think Obama would be foolish to try to refute this charge by say, calmly refuting the death panel rumor as weird gibberish and talking some sense. No way, once an idea gets dipped in the delicious candy coating that is a buzzword like ‘death panel’ […]

Everything I Know About Computers I Learned From Movies

Do you fancy yourself a computer home computer enthusiast? Or would you like to become one? Rest assured, everything you need to know is in retarded movies. Access Denied & Hacking Anytime anything wrong happens it will inevitably lead to a full screen flashing text saying Access Denied. Period. Oh and passwords are really easy to figure out and usually as I learned from Watchmen or The X-Files are the names of objects located near the computer in question. It’s also quite easy as in WarGames to accidentally get the username and password for thermodynamic weapons or some vast conspiracy. Wondering how you will be able to obtain anything through this “hacking” nonsense like bank cards, video confessions or someone’s DNA? Luckily, NASA and other agencies have easy to use high-tech user interfaces with well thought buttons indicated “LAUNCH SHUTTLE” or “NUKE THE SOVIET UNION.” These functions are all accessible […]