Schlitz: A Brief History of Cheap Beer

While we here at TITLE are some of the fanciest sons of bitches you’re liable to come across–Mr. Veer even spent some time in Dandy Jail–we’re not ones to act all snobby when it comes to the frosty ones.  Quite often around the ol’ HQ, you’ll find our typing accompanied by intermittent sips from a can of Schlitz.  And no, I didn’t get paid for saying that.  That stuff is cheap, man! Schlitz would have to be my favorite of the retro beer brands that have been relaunched as of late, notably because of its genuine historical importance.  At one time, Schlitz was the biggest brewery in the world, selling 1 million barrels of beer in 1902.  Schlitz also claims to have introduced the brown glass bottle, the tall-boy and the pop-top can, referred to in the mildly frightening advertisement above.  Throughout much of the previous century, Schlitz was a […]

Tomes & Talisman: A Library WTF Venture

Produced by Mississippi ETV in 1986, Tomes & Talisman presented library and research concepts with a scifi drama. Ms. Bookhart, a librarian from the world of 2123 compiles with her compatriots a library of all human knowledge– which incidentally is in book form and about the size of an average high school library. Humans were forced off Earth by a race called “The Wipers” who have drunken frat boy at a Midwestern tailgating party level technology: as in yell and throw things. So naturally faced up against the hooligans humans have to evacuate. Bookhart’s library is missing one book, so she sets out in the bookmobile hours before the last evacuation to find it. Bookhart then meets a deus ex machina generic cloaked spirt guy with magic powers who puts her to sleep for 100 years called “The Universal Being.” Oh, then there are these Nordic Anglo Saxon looking aliens […]

God is Not the Creator

Richard Alleyne in the Telegraph writes: Professor Ellen van Wolde, a respected Old Testament scholar and author, claims the first sentence of Genesis “in the beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth” is not a true translation of the Hebrew. I don’t think Fundamentalist Christians, Nonfundamentalist Christians, or Non-Christians would care. Anyone who has made their mind up on that matter will not be changed by this historically important but practically superficial revelation if true. Already in the Bible is firm on not eating shrimp and sound advice on what to do if the master you sold your daughter to takes another wife. As the Bible is a large work with contradictions allowing followers to pick-and-choose the parts they like no new translation would change their beliefs. Reminds me of a corny joke in the book House of Leaves: One day, two monks were in the vaults of the monastery […]

UFO Disclosure on Friday November 27, 2009?

The crackpots have been clamoring lately in the tubes of the Internet that Friday, November 27, 2009 will be the day the United States government comes clean– that President Obama will announce there is not one but six (6) alien races humankind has been in contact with. Sounds far fetched? It is, but its a fine example of logical fallacy. There’s something called the Jeane Dixon Effect named for astrology and psychic Jeane Dixon who advised President Richard Nixon and First Lady Nancy Reagan. Nixon, who called her “the soothsayer,” even went as far as to prepare for a terrorist attack based on a premonition. Her numerous erroneous predictions include the Soviet Union winning the space race to the moon and the start of World War III in 1958. Psychics are easy to verify: either an event happens or it does not. Basic Karl Popper falsification. Dixon scored a win though […]

CIA's Black Cloak and Dagger Initiation Ceremony

An interesting aspect of American life is the goverment disclosues all kinds of conspiracies from assanating leaders to selling nuclear weapons to Iran. There’s no need to look for secret or classfied documents to find oddities, conspiracies, and strangeness. I’d consider the CIA’s official website to share a  fairly accurate history of  the CIA, at least what “they” want us to know. A curious article on the agency’s founding: At lunch today in the White House, with only members of the Staff present, Rear Admiral Sidney Souers and I were presented [by President Truman] with black cloaks, black hats, and wooden daggers, and the President read an amusing directive to us outlining some of our duties in the Central Intelligence Agency [sic], ‘Cloak and Dagger Group of Snoopers’.” With this whimsical ceremony, President Truman christened Admiral Soeurs as the first Director of Central Intelligence. I guess that could be called ‘whimsical.’ […]

Huh? Viral campaign for Japanese biotech company

First go to http://174.133.240.117/ which looks like Google. Type “alfa tsentr” and you see some Russian characters that translates to “she is the beginning” (ona nachalo). Clicking around gets you to “The Junsui Project” which features Junko, the child of all man-kind. I know some Russian and Japanese but I have no idea what I’m supposed to buy.

Everything I Know About Computers I Learned From Movies

Do you fancy yourself a computer home computer enthusiast? Or would you like to become one? Rest assured, everything you need to know is in retarded movies. Access Denied & Hacking Anytime anything wrong happens it will inevitably lead to a full screen flashing text saying Access Denied. Period. Oh and passwords are really easy to figure out and usually as I learned from Watchmen or The X-Files are the names of objects located near the computer in question. It’s also quite easy as in WarGames to accidentally get the username and password for thermodynamic weapons or some vast conspiracy. Wondering how you will be able to obtain anything through this “hacking” nonsense like bank cards, video confessions or someone’s DNA? Luckily, NASA and other agencies have easy to use high-tech user interfaces with well thought buttons indicated “LAUNCH SHUTTLE” or “NUKE THE SOVIET UNION.” These functions are all accessible […]

Free Band Names

Teenagers Are Idiots The Sex Nipples On Your Shirt Exercise Science Progesterone Frontiers Bowling League A Tradition of Cirrhosis Legacy of Estrogen HMS Ladyfriend Church of Jesus Christ, Detective Assumed Celibate – – – – – – – YOU’RE WELCOME