1. The Future is Anti-Terror Assspiders

    Somewhere in the course of watching the video for the new Basement Jaxx track “Scars” (below), stray bits of internet gibberish latched upon each other and balled up into a fistula of pure awkward future.  Try to stay with me on this as I regurgitate bits off of my Twitter feed

    First bit: al-Qaeda has taken a page from drug mules everywhere and is now into keestering explosives for the most embarrassing of suicide bombings.

    Second: Italian science has brought us robotic spiders that can crawl though your digestive track and scope around.

    Somewhere at the midpoint of the video below, where the fang-faced caterpillars really get wriggly, the future of airport security reared its arthropod head winked: soon, at the metal detectors, they’ll not be content to just scan my muddy fake Chucks but will be threading robot spiders up my ass to check for C-4.