1. “Canada: Good Neighbor to the World” – A Sinister Tale!

    Amazon is great. The reviews are sometimes awesome, like this for Canada: Good Neighbor to the World.

     

    What School Library Journal has to say on Canada: Good Neighbor to the World:

    Grade 3-6 A broad overview of multicultural Canada, focusing primarily on the present, but supported by excursions into the cultural history of Canada’s European settlers. The native population gets relatively short shrift. The book includes chapters on ethnic composition, legends, holidays, foods, education, and sports. While it touches on such standard school-report topics, these are presented from the perspective of their basis in or impact on cultural or ethnic consideration in insufficient depth to serve as a single source. The index, which sometimes supplies incorrect page numbers, does not lead to some subjects found in the text (free-trade, for instance).

    Okay, so a not so glowing review. However the real genius insane review comes from “A Customer”:

    In the guise of our “good neighbor” to the North, Canada continues its secret and meticulous plans to subjugate innocent noncombatants through telepathy and endoplasmic alteration. Adam Bryant is either a liar or a fool. Judging from his flatulent prose and chaotic organization, one is tempted to assume the latter. Yet his rough edges seem so deliberate that it is fair to ask: Mr. Bryant, What is YOUR frequency? By carefully reading between the lines, one’s worst fears are amply confirmed.

    You tell them, A Customer. Flautent prose and meticulous plans to subjugate innocent noncombatants through telepathy and endoplasmic alteration. We can only assume washrooms, hosers, and Wayne Gretzky are also involved.

    Apropos of almost nothing, here’s a classic clip from Michael Moore’s Canadian Bacon:


  2. Friendly Reminder: Worldwide UFO Sightings Tomorrow

    Update: Looks like the aliens took a wrong turn at Saturn. They were a no show yesterday October 13, 2010.

    Just a friendly reminder: tomorrow October 13, 2010 we’ll know for certain there are extraterrestrials among us! So make sure that fits in with dinner plans tomorrow.

    That is according to former NORAD officer Stanley A. Fulham. He claims tomorrow has “a massive UFO display over the world’s principal cities” in store for us. Not excited? Not pumped? It’s probably because you are sane and may have thought you heard about disclosure about UFOs and extraterrestials before.

    Here’s a hint to those promising UFO disclosure: don’t be precise on your dates. You don’t want you kookiness to have a shelf date.

    Fulham’s website for Challenges of Change, the 352 book outlining what will go down tomorrow, October 10, 2010 has an olde-tyme Geocities feel. You’ll swear you’re back in 1997 catching up on episodes of The X-Files.

    The truth is out there. Tomorrow. Keep watching the skies…



  3. Muammar Qaddafi and Michael Jackson: the Oneness

    Muammar Qaddafi and Michael JacksonAm I the only one that thinks Muammar al-Qaddafi and Michael Jackson look like the same person?  I mean, add 20 pounds and a limp and you’re basically there.  Oh and a pulse.  And a crack team of lady bodyguards.

    Really.  MQ? Sleeps in a tent.  MJ? Slept in a tent.  Face like wood putty? Check.  Rambling conspiracy theories, a love for costumes and radical decisions prompted by financial troubles?  Check, check and check.  Two men, two vast reservoirs of ego and paranoia swirling around in big piles of money, leaking weird gibberish across the land.

    Only natural that they’d have the same tailor, eh?

    But what if it was more than that?  What if Michael Jackson, hounded by his debts and public reputation, entered in a secret pact with mysterious Libyan nationals to support a clandestine coup, a neat little switch that whisked the real Qaddafi off the pedestal and slid the ersatz dictator in his place as smooth as Indy swaps idols for sand?  A plausible Michael Jackson corpse wouldn’t be the hardest thing in the world to fabricate and Qaddafi’s strange reputation could be cited to cover up any unaccounted for behavioral changes.

    Now, I’m not saying this did happen.  I’m just saying for a man as weird and famous as Michael Jackson, there aren’t nearly enough rumors and conspiracy theories surrounding his death.  We can do better, people.  Give the King of Pop his Elvis treatment.  Let’s start reporting Michael skulking around the dumpsters behind Costco at 4 am, breaking open expired boxes of over the counter allergy medicine.  Let’s convince each other he ascended into heaven astride a chimpasus, an immortal hoofed and winged primate developed by freakiest of Soviet science in a Kazakhstan lab.  WE CAN DO BETTER.


  4. UFO Disclosure on Friday November 27, 2009?

    The crackpots have been clamoring lately in the tubes of the Internet that Friday, November 27, 2009 will be the day the United States government comes clean– that President Obama will announce there is not one but six (6) alien races humankind has been in contact with. Sounds far fetched? It is, but its a fine example of logical fallacy.

    ST_DIXON

    Jeanne Dixon

    There’s something called the Jeane Dixon Effect named for astrology and psychic Jeane Dixon who advised President Richard Nixon and First Lady Nancy Reagan. Nixon, who called her “the soothsayer,” even went as far as to prepare for a terrorist attack based on a premonition. Her numerous erroneous predictions include the Soviet Union winning the space race to the moon and the start of World War III in 1958.

    Psychics are easy to verify: either an event happens or it does not. Basic Karl Popper falsification.

    Dixon scored a win though when she predicted in 1956 a Democrat would take office and would die or be assassinated in office. This one “lucky guess” has sticking power whereas false promises or incorrect predictions go into the brain’s garbage can. Apparently our brains are used to being let down.

    The source of the information on disclosure is Dr. Pete Peterson of Project Camelot and David Wilcock of well, bat guano crazy land. Both claim to have ‘sources’ who have informed them that not only is disclosure happening, the TV time has already booked. Peterson annouced this on his website and Wilcock annouced this on the syndicated radio program Coast to Coast AM with George Noory on October 6, 2009. Anyone who knows how TV stations or logistics in business works that its highly unlikely– especially in the competitive world of journalism– that stations could “keep quiet” about a mysterious and seemingly unprovoked address by President Barack Obama.

    David Wilcock

    David Wilcock (kinda looks like David Spade selling a timeshare condo)

    Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. With this claim there is no evidence whatsoever. What’s more, just over a year ago a woman named Blossom Goodchild and a kindrid spirt named Dannion Brinkley predicted a mass UFO sighting October 14, 2008 would force disclosure. Just one of many false predictions such as the Air Force announcing disclosure in the 1960s, Y2K, terrorist attacks, and everything Nostradamus said that didn’t happen. Oh, and the woman over at ZetaTalk claimed the world would end in 2003. In case you are wondering, none of that happened.

    Chances are (and I’ll be the first to gladly admit I was was wrong) we will not see disclosure on November 27, 2009. I would certainly welcome anything novel like 6 alien species to spice up the doldrums. They claimed that a UFO would be sighted by a large number of people in Florida this weekend November 21, 2009 or November 22, 2009 and that did not happen. Or maybe CNN is still obsessed with Jon & Kate to ignore the greatest news story in mankind’s history.

    Both Peterson and Wilcock have stated that if too many people get excited about this, we will not have disclosure. So, sorry everyone. By acknowledging their predictions I’ve blown it for them. Just like how 2012 is the new Y2K, they’ll have to move on to more D Grade scifi plots. Just next time, put some more imagination into it, please?


  5. CIA's Black Cloak and Dagger Initiation Ceremony

    An interesting aspect of American life is the goverment disclosues all kinds of conspiracies from assanating leaders to selling nuclear weapons to Iran. There’s no need to look for secret or classfied documents to find oddities, conspiracies, and strangeness.

    I’d consider the CIA’s official website to share a  fairly accurate history of  the CIA, at least what “they” want us to know. A curious article on the agency’s founding:

    At lunch today in the White House, with only members of the Staff present, Rear Admiral Sidney Souers and I were presented [by President Truman] with black cloaks, black hats, and wooden daggers, and the President read an amusing directive to us outlining some of our duties in the Central Intelligence Agency [sic], ‘Cloak and Dagger Group of Snoopers’.”

    With this whimsical ceremony, President Truman christened Admiral Soeurs as the first Director of Central Intelligence.

    I guess that could be called ‘whimsical.’ Or just fucked up and weird in a right-out-of-a-stupid-Dan-Brown-book kind of way.