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Alright, I’ll admit it, I’m paranoid.  Too many loud noises, too many sneak attacks when I was a kid walking home from school, whatever the reason, there’s always a bit of that itchy little feeling that someone’s out to get me.  Having the default old-school nerdy interests in conspiracy theories and cyber security doesn’t help the matter either.  Thanks Slashdot.

Ahh but where I itch, Google has the salve!  I had no idea until today that Gmail has a neat little feature that shows you recent activity on your account.  IP, location, type, time.   Just the sort of thing a guy needs to quiet the concerns that my parents have been feigning internet-ineptitude and have been monitoring the extreme levels of cussing fund in a typical email exchange.

Just look down at the very bottom and click on the ‘Details’ link after the account activity line.  Like so:

Found out about this from a guy who’s having some trouble with mysterious intruders in his Gmail…

Michelle Malkin is a syndicated columnist, contributor to Fox News, and Photoshopped images of liberal politician enthusiast. In late May, she wrote on the shocking revelation that– get this– Vice President Dick Cheney had been hiding in the basement of his own house. She did not have the time or care to respond to this email:

May 19, 2009:

Dear Michelle Malkin,

Thanks for bringing to light in your blog post in regards to Mr Biden revealing that the undisclosed location the President lives at is actually underneath the Naval Observatory (http://michellemalkin.com/2009/05/18/bidenrrhea-of-the-mouth/). Obviously, this is a strong breach of national security and as you said “Secure, undisclosed? Not anymore.”

Now, I have a confession to make. I may have, inadvertently, released this information in 1994. When I say release I mean I think I wrote a report on it in elementary school. I think the report said “Vice Presidant [sic] lives at the Naval Observatory.” I don’t know how wide, or how circulated this report was in intelligence communities. I know it was read by a particular Mrs Clippart.

Perhaps my elementary school was actually a training ground for terrorists as I recall numerous books called “encyclopedias,” which is kind of like Wikipedia, documenting the same slip Mr Biden made.  I believe we were also forced to take training drills called “pop quizzes” and recall such sensitive information as where the Vice President lives. In addition on a school fieldtrip to Washington DC on the way to the zoo (hippos rule!) we also were shown the Vice President’s now disclosed location and it even had a sign pointing to as such.

Obviously the agencies and individuals seeking to keep Mr Cheny’s location secret would not say hide him supposedly in a house that since 1974 has been well documented to be where the Vice President lives. Nor would they simply place him below that area so that anyone seeking to take out “Number 2″ would need to just ask someone good at trivia questions “Hey, where does the Vice Preisdent live?” No, that would be way irresponsible to hide the Vice President under the known location at which he lives. Especially if for some reason it is necessary the Vice President go to an undisclosed location. It would not be some sort of lazy cop out with a giant steel door in the comfort of his own home. That would be absurdly irresponsible.

So in the end shame on Mr Biden for releasing that information, and shame on me for writing a report on that with a picture of a cool dog.

Regards,
[Lorem Ipsum]

PS Your disclosure policy link is bad (http://v2.michellemalkin.com/privacy-policy/) on your contact page. It gives me a 404 error not found. Removing the ‘v2′ at the beginning works.