A Futuristic Buddy Cop Staring Whoopi Goldberg and a Dinosaur. WTF?

Someone get a man in as there’s something wrong with time and space. Somehow this thing– this movie– came over from some awful bizarro world alternate universe where Gilbert Godfried is President and KFC sells Wolly Mammoth thigh. That can be the only logical explanation. Yes, someone in 1995 really thought a movie set in the the future where Whoopi Goldberg teams up with a dinosaur named Theodore Rex was a good idea. Theodore Rex Trailer Theodore Rex, Best of the Worst

Hit Instrumental Songs

Regularly, instrumental songs became a #1 hit from Billboard’s inception in 1950. That is, until 1985. It has been 25 years since an instrumental charted that high. The last time an instrumental made the top 20 was 1996. What does this say about our culture today?

The Peanut Butter Solution: Childhood's Real Bad Dream

Here’s the plot: A young boy goes to a burned down mansion and meets the ghosts of the homeless squatters that died in the fire. As a result he acquires “the Fright” and all of his hair falls out. The ghosts visit him in a dream and give him a recipe involving peanut butter to restore his hair. Overnight he gets a full head of hair, and his buddy feels inspired to put it on his balls. Their hair grows really long and they get suspended for distracting others from their head and ball hair. Then see the main kid’s hair so long he can barely move (fortunately they did not show his buddy) and he passes out. Somehow by screaming at his hair it stops growing. Problem solved– but no. A pissed off art teacher who hates kids and imagination (naturally two things an art teacher should hate) kidnaps […]

Moving Paper

The above video is presently blowing up on Twitter, sending me off looking for more stop-motion/psuedo stop-motion papercraft.  Oddly, I spent a good chunk of last night tearing up sheets of paper and moving them millimeters.  If there’s a more introverted activity than stop-motion animation, I’d like to hear of it. Mercifully, here’s a jump, with more on the other side for those with time on their hands.

Everything I Know About Computers I Learned From Movies

Do you fancy yourself a computer home computer enthusiast? Or would you like to become one? Rest assured, everything you need to know is in retarded movies. Access Denied & Hacking Anytime anything wrong happens it will inevitably lead to a full screen flashing text saying Access Denied. Period. Oh and passwords are really easy to figure out and usually as I learned from Watchmen or The X-Files are the names of objects located near the computer in question. It’s also quite easy as in WarGames to accidentally get the username and password for thermodynamic weapons or some vast conspiracy. Wondering how you will be able to obtain anything through this “hacking” nonsense like bank cards, video confessions or someone’s DNA? Luckily, NASA and other agencies have easy to use high-tech user interfaces with well thought buttons indicated “LAUNCH SHUTTLE” or “NUKE THE SOVIET UNION.” These functions are all accessible […]

Rick Moranis Does Kraftwerk

Kraftwerk are widely regarded as one of the most influential groups in music of all time. Namely for their pioneering work using synthesizers and drum machines but also for their distinct melodies. They have been cited as an influence from musicians such as Madonna, David Bowie, and Michael Jackson. They are one of the most sampled groups with their melodies and beats appearing in rock, pop, and hiphop. Their music has been heavily sampled or covered by artists such as Afrika Bombasta, U2, Coldplay, and Will Smith. One artist who also covered them, was Rick Moranis. As in Honey I Shrunk the Kids and Spaceballs and Strange Brew Rick Moranis. Thus creating the single greatest cultural crossover since that guy who played the Doctor or Doctor Who is the bad guy in the forthcoming GI Joe movie. Or when The Jetsons were on The Flintstones. The cover was released on […]

Operation Other Planet Freedom

Movies about aliens are certainly not new, as well as the evil aliens invade Earth plot. The recent crop of alien movies such as Battle for Terra, Avatar, The Day Keanu the World Stood Still, and District 9 though feature a thinly veiled metaphor: humans are the bad guys and not the aliens. Instead of the usual aliens invade and must be stopped by Jeff Goldblum using his Powerbook. All of these basically have the same storyline: humans meet some aliens, humans are mean to aliens, one human is nice to the aliens, and then they all get along and the bad humans go away. I wonder what historical figure or incidents of late could have inspired that people in their arrogance and greed destroy the lives of others under the pretense of it being good…