A Futuristic Buddy Cop Staring Whoopi Goldberg and a Dinosaur. WTF?

Someone get a man in as there’s something wrong with time and space. Somehow this thing– this movie– came over from some awful bizarro world alternate universe where Gilbert Godfried is President and KFC sells Wolly Mammoth thigh. That can be the only logical explanation. Yes, someone in 1995 really thought a movie set in the the future where Whoopi Goldberg teams up with a dinosaur named Theodore Rex was a good idea. Theodore Rex Trailer Theodore Rex, Best of the Worst

The Squeeze: This Movie Won’t Get Rereleased (with the same poster) Anytime Soon

This 1987 $11 million dollar over the budget flop with Michael Keaton in some 1980’s “My Life is Bonkers!” comedy in the vain of The Man with the one Red Shoe, Three Men and a Baby, and Quick Change will not see a DVD (or poster) rerelease anytime soon. Roger Ebert said: Sometimes they hold sneak previews for movies, and ask the audience to rate the picture on a scale ranging from “excellent” to “poor.” I’ve got an idea for “The Squeeze.” They should hand the audience postcards and ask them to mail them back a week after seeing the movie – if they can recall anything about the plot. I’m serious. This movie isn’t about anything or anybody, and to remember it is an act of the will. I think there’s one thing memorable about that cover: its never going to be forgotten today. If Sarah Palin ever wants […]

Get Your Secret Space Colony Fix in SciFi Video Form

With NASA’s budget constantly getting the axe wouldn’t it be fun if somone else had an established space colony? Well, what if they were Fascist or Communist? That’s the premise of this potential movie, this movie, and this potential series. This movie Iron Sky in the works from the people behind Star Wreck is a fan funded effort to make a comedy– about Nazis on the moon. These people have experience making movies with fan contributions alone from their Star Wreck series, but this is fairly ambitious. Iron Sky Trailer 1 Iron Sky Trailer 2 Also on the lighter side of Fascists-in-space comes this comedy from Italy based on a 2002 sketch comedy series. It’s about a band of Mussolini flavored Fascists roughing it on Mars with no food, no water, and no oxygen. Fascisti Su Marte (Part 1, English Subtitles) Most recently is the pilot episode for a series […]

Kevin Costner Saves the Gulf Coast from Oil Spill, The Movie

From the LA Times article “Kevin Costner may hold key to oil spill cleanup“: The “Kevin Costner solution” to the worsening oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico may actually work, and none too soon for the president of Plaquemines Parish. Wow. I had no idea Kevin Costner held the key to anything, let alone solving an environmental disaster. Or that the abysmal movie Waterworld might save the world. I couldn’t stop myself from firing up Photoshop to make the movie poster for this affair.

The Peanut Butter Solution: Childhood's Real Bad Dream

Here’s the plot: A young boy goes to a burned down mansion and meets the ghosts of the homeless squatters that died in the fire. As a result he acquires “the Fright” and all of his hair falls out. The ghosts visit him in a dream and give him a recipe involving peanut butter to restore his hair. Overnight he gets a full head of hair, and his buddy feels inspired to put it on his balls. Their hair grows really long and they get suspended for distracting others from their head and ball hair. Then see the main kid’s hair so long he can barely move (fortunately they did not show his buddy) and he passes out. Somehow by screaming at his hair it stops growing. Problem solved– but no. A pissed off art teacher who hates kids and imagination (naturally two things an art teacher should hate) kidnaps […]

Mark Coleran: Fantasy and Real UI Designer

Mark Coleran has designed many of the user interfaces seen in films, from Blade II to Children of Men. His delicate balance between futuristic fantasy and present familiarity is astounding. It’s easy to do overdramatic access denied screens, but Coleran’s work is eye catching, understandable and even clever. In an unused interface for Children of Men, a “coverflow” view like iTunes is shown. Before iTunes even introduced coverflow. You should really see some of his work. He’s also a designer for real life UI. Gridiron Flow looks like the one thing that would make any Creative Director, Designer, or Art Director’s life easier. In a simple overview you see all files related to a project and how they relate to each other.

Jimmy Stewart, Tom Slick, and a Yeti Hand

In the late 1950’s Texan oil  tycoon Tom Slick launched an expedition to Nepal. He searched of a rumored hand of yeti hand, now called the Pangbouche Hand, allegedly used as part of a ritual in the Himalayas. That area is home to many legends such as “The Abominable Snowman” with white fur and its redheaded stepchild Almas. He located the hand at a Buddhist monastery in Pangboche. Subsequent treks brought photos of the hand and ultimately the hand itself. The monks declined these fast talking city slickers in coats request to have the hand removed for study. Slick’s associate Peter Byrne cracked a plan: replace the hand with human remains and smuggle it out of Nepal. Then what? That’s where Byrne and Slick’s hunting buddy/flying pal and all around American good-guy actor Jimmy Stewart comes in. Yes, It’s a Wonderful Life, Harvey and Rear Window Jimmy Stewart. Stewart rushed […]

Everything I Know About Computers I Learned From Movies

Do you fancy yourself a computer home computer enthusiast? Or would you like to become one? Rest assured, everything you need to know is in retarded movies. Access Denied & Hacking Anytime anything wrong happens it will inevitably lead to a full screen flashing text saying Access Denied. Period. Oh and passwords are really easy to figure out and usually as I learned from Watchmen or The X-Files are the names of objects located near the computer in question. It’s also quite easy as in WarGames to accidentally get the username and password for thermodynamic weapons or some vast conspiracy. Wondering how you will be able to obtain anything through this “hacking” nonsense like bank cards, video confessions or someone’s DNA? Luckily, NASA and other agencies have easy to use high-tech user interfaces with well thought buttons indicated “LAUNCH SHUTTLE” or “NUKE THE SOVIET UNION.” These functions are all accessible […]

Operation Other Planet Freedom

Movies about aliens are certainly not new, as well as the evil aliens invade Earth plot. The recent crop of alien movies such as Battle for Terra, Avatar, The Day Keanu the World Stood Still, and District 9 though feature a thinly veiled metaphor: humans are the bad guys and not the aliens. Instead of the usual aliens invade and must be stopped by Jeff Goldblum using his Powerbook. All of these basically have the same storyline: humans meet some aliens, humans are mean to aliens, one human is nice to the aliens, and then they all get along and the bad humans go away. I wonder what historical figure or incidents of late could have inspired that people in their arrogance and greed destroy the lives of others under the pretense of it being good…